1. You CREATE your life (whatever the circumstances). No excuses.
I’ve been designing my life by this rule since age 11 when my parents packed us up and moved from New Zealand to Aussie (without consulting me of course!) It was ‘become master of my fate,’ or drown in my own tears. Drowning in my own tears is a pretty miserable and disempowering choice don’t you think?
The elder women in my lineage rolled by the same belief – my great, great grandmother even divorced and decided to create her life her own way too!
If you are still buying into any sort of belief like, ‘that’s just the way life is…’ or ‘I have to wait to retirement/the economy picks up/I’ve finished paying for the kids’ education’ to finally *live the life I want* (*Insert: “create amazing side gig,” “change career,” “have more impact,” “take my place as CEO of the company,” “Deepen my relationships.”) then you have given yourself a permission slip to your own special flavour of a half led life. That is unacceptable in my world.
If you are breathing, and I presume you are if you are reading this, then your life is NOW, in this moment. You have the power to create a life that resembles who you are and what you believe in, as from this second. What are you waiting for? Your next life?
2. Ultimate freedom, is showing up as YOU (and choosing exactly how you do that)
That means being IN your life rather than reporting on it. Reasoning it and explaining it away. It’s being who you really want to be and taking action from that place. There’s nothing so deliciously attractive as fully and unapologetically being who. you. are!
This is the way to your energy, your joy, your sense of capacity, your vitality and your freedom.
Put your crown on darling and show up wholly as you are.
It will keep you young.
3. Excellence trumps perfection.
You’re a (not so closet) perfectionist? Life sucking isn’t it! Perfectionism narrows your focus, reduces your options and feeds straight into mediocrity, deception and, all too often procrastination.
Perfectionism is rooted in fear and fear is 99.9% always a terrible guide.
Try excellence instead.
Excellence nourishes growth.
Excellence expands you, and everyone around you!
Excellence pulls you up from the inside out.
Excellence is rooted in divine desire and enthusiasm.
Ditch perfection- aim for excellence.
Excellence, like integrity, is a glorious mountain with no top !
4. Everything. Starts. Within. (YOU).
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING: LOVE, deep human connection, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, determination, inspiration, respect, success, brilliance, courage, credibility, recognition…
Connect to yourself first and you will connect more deeply with others.
Radiate your joy and you will bathe in the joy of others.
What you can’t recognize in yourself you will spend a lifetime struggling painfully to get from outside. Ouch..
Life is an inside-out process. Transformation is an inside out process. Everything is an inside out process. You don’t need to be fixed. You simply need to work it from deeper within.
5. You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you settle for.
Hope is not a strategy, darling! It doesn’t matter what you say you believe. You can repeat your affirmations till you are blue in the face, but as long as you are still taking the actions that reflect another belief, they won’t work. You must set your own standards and refuse to compromise. Standards that reflect what you are committed to and who you are committed to being. Then accept nothing less. Our agreement is that I accept nothing less of you!
6. You are the centre of your world.
Not your lover, your partner, your children, your career, your parents or your exotic koi goldfish. Sound selfish?
Get this, the female wolf nourishes herself first so she can nourish her pack.
You put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Not only is it common sense to put yourself first, it’s THE best way be of service to the world. No exceptions.
7. Effort – hell yeah! Struggle – no way!
Struggle is not big.
Struggle is the path of dog-minded rigidity, as energising and intelligent as banging your head against a brick wall.
Effort lifts you, challenges you to show up as your best. Effort is intentional, directed, flexible, energising and totally harnesses your capacity. Effort is never soul destroying.
If you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, disheartened, jaded or resentful, you’re in struggle-mode. I recommend we rectify that ASAP!
8. Creativity and play solve problems faster than grind and hard work
There’s a very serious and scientific theory behind this… but it’s too long and boring to go into.
In short, it involves sneaking past your reptilian and limbic brain via your parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn amps up your ‘possibility radar.’ In other words, the more relaxed you are, the better the quality and speed of your idea generation.
Creativity – like laughter – is also a powerful energiser! Every. Single. Time. You can be deep, intense, and take your work seriously AND play. Because, as well as being more fun, it’s simply more efficient for getting you where you want to go.
9. The only constant in life is change. And often it sucks. But it doesn’t have to!
If you don’t honour your own natural process of growth, if you stifle that call from within, life will simply help you along with a whopping great kick in the pants (of which I’ve had my fair share).
All change is uncomfortable, all growth is uncomfortable – even desired growth.
You may as well make change your conscious choice and ride that wave rather than be submerged by the tsunami.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and dive into the flow!
10. Everything is possible. Especially when you think it isn’t.
Whatever life you truly want to create, whatever life you deeply want to experience, only you can stop you from creating it.
The only thing that is not possible is deciding that you get to control how life happens. You get to control how YOU show up, not how Life shows up. Once you get that, the rest is an adventure.
The question is, what are you truly committed to? What is the stand you take?
What you focus on expands.
11. Love (and laugh) big.
Love is my reason for getting up in the morning.
I love what I do. Love my life. Love who I am. Love you.
Love is excellence, effort, enthusiasm, creativity, vitality, quality, aspiration, inspiration, and extraordinary life force. Love is power. Powerful and fierce.
How can you love small?
People who know me, including my clients, often notice that I write ‘LOVE’ at the bottom of my emails. If you think it’s inappropriate, or don’t think you (or I) should ‘Love’ like that – it’s a sign that we probably need to see each other.