The life spirit and energy which contribute to the mastery of the creative process can never be fully engaged by a commitment to compromise.
Robert Fritz
In other words – There is no such thing as a commitment to compromise. The two are antinomic. I’m all for ‘ANDs’ but this time, the two can’t exist together. If you’re compromising, what you are dealing with is an idea, not a commitment.
When I was five years old and had just earned my first swimming certificate – which meant I could simultaneously breathe and windmill my arms fast enough to propel myself to the end of the local 25m pool alive – my father dared me to swim across a wide part of the local river. Wide. For my tiny 5-year-old frame, knee high to a grasshopper, it was ocean-sized wide.
Standing on the edge, looking at the rapids, I asked my tower of a Dad what would happen if I couldn’t do it. He looked down and told me in a matter of fact voice, that I would drown.
The choice was mine – rise to the occasion presented to grow, and succeed (or die) or refuse the challenge and go back to playing with my friends. No pressure. Bugger.
So, fear and excitement in the pit of my stomach, launch myself into the challenge I did
And, make it to the other side I did. Triumphant. Proud. Capable. Joyful in a newfound sense of capacity. ACHIEVEMENT!
Somehow, by throwing myself in before I felt I was ready, I had found the inner resources on the way to keep cool, to find my strength and keep my head above water and eyes focused on where I was going until I got there.
That was the start of my understanding of the transformative power of risk and commitment.
The problem is, at 50, few challenges occur for us as being as simple as a diving in and swimming for your life as they did when we were five. Yet fundamentally, they are, nothing has changed.
And 100% of the time, when we truly commit, both the energy and resources we need for mastery miraculously appear!
The tricky part is that you have to come from a place of commitment first.
What most people have when they say they are committed to something, is not a commitment, but an idea. A desire. A want. A hope. A prayer. A wish. An – “If something favourable happens, if the circumstances allow, if the planets align and all my ducks are in a row then I’m committed” approach to life.
They have an excuse, an out… reasons…
It requires effort to choose commitment in the face of comfort or temptation.
When we are committed to transforming our wildest thoughts into reality, there is no testing the water, no ‘sort of.’ No ‘meh.’ No ‘making the shoe fit.’ Certainly no feeling of ‘Hell Maybe.’ And no wanting proof it will work first. No… just…
No
Just one dessert
Just one drink
Just skipping this one workout
Just replying late this one time
Just staying late at the office ‘this time’
Just ignoring that inappropriate behavior to keep the peace
Just being late for that one last meeting
Just going for what you think you can get rather than for what you really want
Just – always precedes a disempowering compromise – a minimization of what you ultimately want, who you truly are, what you really think. It undermines your integrity, lowers your frequency and absolutely guarantees compromised, half assed results.
At any given moment in time you are committed, or you are not.
You are either in integrity. Or you are not.
You are either doing the thing. Or you are not.
You are bold or you are not
You are decided or you are not.
You dive in, or you don’t.
There is no commitment in comprise.
Coming from a place of commitment is hard. It’s much easier to eat that ice-cream because it’s Aunty Jan’s birthday, not return that phone call because it feels uncomfortable, have that glass of wine in front of the tv rather than work out, not speak up, or accept what you don’t really want just this once because it partially scratches the itch – or fills a void – in the moment.
No judgement. We all do it. It happens. But let’s not kid ourselves that in that moment we are committed.
Because while compromise will give you instant gratification, as it compounds over the long term, what compromise also gives you is profound dissatisfaction and an inner knowing you’ve robbed yourself.
Where’s the commitment in that?
If you want anything, ANYTHING to shift in your life you have to be committed to the shift first, inside.
Nothing will give you the energy commitment brings. From commitment is born a series of actions that wouldn’t have otherwise been generated. There is not any real proof it will work before it works. Commitment requires a leap of faith. It requires you to dive in.
Like an escalator, you have to move forward for it to come on.
Commitment gives us a place to choose from other than from our feelings which are notoriously fickle.
You want to feel more energy and more conviction? Practice choosing from commitment rather than circumstances.
Let your commitment be your guide.
Practice playing bigger without proof you’ll win.
Allow yourself to dive in and flail your arms like a windmill, that’s commitment.
Commit. See what possibility that creates for you!
